Q: Can you talk a little bit about how you became interested in music and how you decided to pursue it in a University setting?

I started pursuing music because my parents put me in piano lessons when I was three years old. They also put me in dance lessons. I didn't particularly enjoy either of those things at the time because, one, my piano teacher was really mean, and then everyone in the dance studio was really mean to me. That was kind of a launching pad for me getting interested in other things. I ended up starting to take violin lessons. I started to take guitar lessons and throughout all of that, I was singing. My mom used to be a singer when she was younger. So she would sing to me a lot, and we've just listened to a lot of music in our home. My dad was a percussionist as well. So, singing was just a part of my life. Once I got into high school, I actually wanted to get involved in taking private lessons with someone. My parents had been really careful about that beforehand just because there had been a lot of situations that they heard about with kids having their voices ruined early on, because they took pop vocal lessons with someone starting at age five or something. I got into a children's choir and it was a touring Children's Choir so it was kind of a big deal for me. I got to go to Europe, I got to go all over the country, touring with them. That was a huge part of my singing experience from an early age, and I was actually in that choir from age 8 to age 15. That was like a huge part of my development as a vocalist and as a musician.

After I basically aged out of that choir, I decided to take private lessons with someone. Singing has always been something that I really enjoyed and I felt that I was able to connect with people in a way that I wasn't able to during anything else. I think it's kind of weird how I decided to pursue it in college because I don't think I ever thought of doing anything else.

I was fine at school. I had always pushed myself in school, but there was nothing about it that I enjoyed and I wasn't passionate about it. But I really loved choir. I really loved theater. I really loved singing with people. People also had validated me for singing and it is the thing that I was technically best at. Out of all the things that I did, so I should pursue it.

I didn't specifically go into musical theater, which is what I am pursuing now because I didn't have as much experience or opportunities, doing that, as a young kid. There wasn't a theater scene in my town. I'm from a very small town in Kansas. So not a lot of performance opportunities.

Once I got into high school I became that theater kid. I guess choir was kind of my window into the theater because there's some crossover there. My junior and senior year I ended up getting, like, a lot of lead roles and like plays and musicals and stuff. It was so unlike anything I had ever experienced before because of the communal aspect of it, the team working aspect of it, but that you also have a very specific role to fill and the way you contribute to the final product is very clear. Whereas in other collaborative circumstances I had found that my contribution wasn't so clear to me. The Theater just created a family, and a place for me to feel safe and accepted, and even appreciated. I hadn't felt that in any other circumstance throughout my childhood. I was bullied a lot as a kid, people didn't really like me, so it was like a whole new experience to be in a safe space. I remember people were so mean to me in elementary school. I remember being called “annoying” or “ugly” or “fat” or “weird” and being  kind of like the one on the sidelines of things. So when it came to theater and being in a space where people not only enjoyed my presence, but found me particularly special in some way, was really new to me, and I had never felt appreciated like that by peers before. Music and performing and musical theater specifically has created communities for me that I don't think I would have ever been a part of, if I hadn't been involved in those things. And they will always be particularly special to me because of that. think the main reason I have decided to pursue theatre, specifically is because what is most important to me, is being able to create with other people, and being able to build connections with all different kinds of people, regardless of our backgrounds, because that is what it has done for me.  I want to create those spaces for other kids, other people who feel disenfranchised. I feel like the only reason I want to do anything in my life is just to connect with people. Right now in my life, theater is the best way I can accomplish that goal.

Q:  Can you talk broadly about how the COVID-19 pandemic has affected you as an artist, recent graduate, going into an industry that doesn't really exist right now and what initial reactions and feelings you had about the US shutdown?

The COVID-19 situation has, first of all completely changed my physical surroundings and the reality of the way that I'm living as a person who struggles a lot with mental health. It is very hard for me to find ways to cope with what I deal with on a daily basis. Now, a lot of those things aren't available anymore. So that has been probably the most difficult part about my transition. But something that is really positive that I like to remember is that everyone is in this situation together. At this moment, especially with the other 2020 graduates. It's really nice to know that I am not alone in feeling angry and upset and feeling like something really important to me was taken away from me and that I do have a worldwide community of people who feel those same uncomfortable feelings, and we can talk about it and have those common experiences.

I think that it has actually brought me a lot closer with people that I met in college, simply because it's really hard to be as gracious and thankful for what we have when we don't necessarily have the time to reflect on those things. So the fact that I have this time with myself. I can kind of think about things and think about the people who have been you know here for me. And think about the connections that I've made, no matter how quickly they were made, or how quickly they were, you know, severed. But there are just so many great people out there. And I think this whole situation has just made me so much more appreciative of the people that I do know and have connections with. I'm collaborating more with people now than I have in like years.

Q: Can you actually talk about what you've been doing during this time especially in the sense of as an artist and creation wise?

There was a little bit where I was like really creatively stunted and didn't want to do anything and didn't know why I would be doing anything anyway for a world that does not exist. I was like, why would I do anything? What is it for? If I were to do something, what is the outcome? Why am I doing this? And then I eventually came back to the fact that what is important to me is connecting with others. So why would I not reach out to my friends and ask if we want to write music together? which I have been doing some of and I'm now recording covers with friends that I have never performed with.  Friends that I made in a couple shows I have done but never got to hang out or create together. It's actually been so surprising to me how many people really want to do something right now. That's what's been really encouraging to me is because you know usually my anxiety keeps me from asking people if they want to work with me or be involved with me. You know, that kind of imposter syndrome saying like, oh I don't have the necessary skills or credentials that would make someone want to collaborate with me. That kind of is out the window now...and I'm realizing that people just want to make connections with other people. I've been trying as best as I can to step outside of my comfort zone and ask other people to work with me, ask for help, ask for people's advice. Once this kind of blows over. Not that it's gonna blow over anytime soon but I particularly have a big issue asking for help from professionals and from people who have had experiences that might be, you know, be helpful to me. So I've been contacting a lot of alums from the school, and talking about, you know, suggestions about getting into the musical theater industry, especially for someone who is not going to have, like, a showcase, or any way to like introduce me to the, you know, New York, setting.

Specifically to prepare for my career I guess would be, I'm doing a lot of self taping right now, which I needed to do anyway. I actually took advantage of my senior recital requirement and kind of turned that into a self taping requirement so I'm putting together reels, and updating my website which is kind of a maintenance thing that we all need to do in general, but I'm trying to motivate myself in kind of creative ways to get those things done.

Q: As a young artist going into the professional world: What would you like to see change and shift after this pandemic is over?

I have actually been struggling with this, so hard, just because I feel like I do not fit into anything specifically. I think this already has been improved upon a little bit in the Broadway scene, but creating creative works and spaces where really casting and involvement is dependent on somebody's soul, and dependent on the kind of person that they are their energy, what you feel when you speak to them what they bring into a room, rather than anything regarding what they look like at all, because that has been so painful for me and for many performing artists that I have spoken to about it. For instance, like Jagged Little Pill like the newer, Oklahoma, like those things and Hades town. I think I'm moving into a more kind of like less bogged down in identities. I think anyone of any gender identity should be able to play anything. I think anyone of any size should be able to play anything, anyone of any color. I think that would be a really good place to go and I think that there are people in the industry who are actively trying to bring us there and I'm so thankful for that. Just because there are so many people who are overlooked in this industry, just because you know antiquated industry standards with, you know, appearances and assumptions about people. But I think it should just really come from what the person brings that is unique to them entirely, which is nothing of the physical nature, not that I think I don't think thatI think that uniqueness comes from, you know, a deeper place for every individual person.